It’s been months since my last post. I’m coming to the realization that having a blog isn’t for anyone, it’s for me. My life is nowhere near perfect or ideal or by any means encouraging but it’s all I’ve got. My life has overall improved recently. I’ve enrolled and completed a Pima Medical Institue course, Phlebotomy Technician. I’m basically a vampire, a vamp looking for a job so hiring managers hmu for a resume. I have a well-paying job in the meantime that I actually really enjoy. Working as a Live Goods Merchandiser was the connection to plants that I didn’t know I needed. I am responsible for the overall appearance of these gardens and discounting the sadder looking plants.
I’ve moved back into my mother’s house. That’s a whole set of problems and headaches itself. Recently I wonder what she thinks of me seeing as how this was the weekend that I was supposed to be graduating from UA. I for one am so disappointed in myself, I could have been done… but my choices have led me away from that my choices really lead me to single motherhood. I got lucky enough to get a good kid though. My child is beautiful in every way possible and will accomplish great feats in his lifetime and who knows maybe his soul just couldn’t wait. It’s my responsibility now to care for that soul.
I’ve just recently started using and putting creativity into a bullet journal. I like it, started and stopped many versions of bullet journals but when I do utilize this format I feel organized and successful even with tedious tasks. I feel like it holds me accountable for how I spend my days be they productive or lazy. This time around I’ve started taping and inserting any relevant papers or keepsakes that could be useful for future reference. I’ve been contemplating starting to keep track of tidbits of my dreams, REM sleep is such a peculiar time to me. There are parts of dreams that I can remember for weeks but sometimes it’s like this world my subconscious has created moments before my awakening wasn’t real nothing but a passing creation. like many creations on this planet here for the moment only to pass and be replaced in one form or another.
This post is all over the place and really serves no purpose than to dump thoughts I’ve had today.. but I need to commit to tasks and ideas and let them grow into something. even if I can’t see the final vision yet.